Friday, May 6, 2011

Obama's Jealousy Ends in Osama's Death

Administration officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, today confirmed suspicions long held by President Barack Obama's critics that the Chief Executive's pursuit and eventual killing of Al Quaeda leader Osama bin Laden was motivated mainly by jealousy.  The President and bin Laden, two of the world's most recognizable figures, share a coincidental similarity of names; and it was this similarity that led to the terrorist leader's death. 

"There was only room for one Osama or Obama on the world stage, and our president took care of that," said Bergen Musflocker, President Obama's personal attorney, when asked for comment yesterday.  "Sure, there was the whole 9/11 thing, that was bad, but when Barack became President, we all knew it was only a matter of time.  The President is a serious man, but he also has a seriously jealous streak in him.  Once, in college, he punched a fellow student who was also tall, thin, and hyper-educated.  The guy wants what he wants, and he doesn't respond well to perceived challenges."

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