In a bizzare attempt to garner publicity and cash in on the recent climate of celebration after the killing of terrorist Osama bin Laden, producers of the singing competition show American Idol announced today that the remaining participants would face a last-minute change of contest rules. As the young hopefuls travel toward the ultimate goal of becoming America's next musical superstar, those eliminated by the call-in vote of viewers indicating their favorites will now be put to death. While those who survive the competition move closer to a lucrative recording contract and career-making live tour, each week's singer who polls the least amount of votes will now be assaulted by a team of U. S. Navy Seals similar to the one that put an end to the twenty-first century's most notorious murderer.
Reactions to the show's decision were mixed. Fans of the long-running show expressed excitment at the addition of a new wrinkle into the heightened atmosphere of the competition's final weeks, but human rights activist organizations recommended caution. "The death of bin Laden is, understandably, a cause for jubilation for the country, but I'm not sure that the final contestants deserve this kind of treatment, regardless of the performance they've turned in," said Mavis Arborhugger, chairperson of Humanwatch, a Seattle-based group. Meanwhile, Burt Schwinger, one of the show's producers, countered that view. "Listen ... we've gotta compete with that stupid dancing show, viewership is off drastically from last year, and, you know ... celebrating death is totally in right now. We've got to get some of that good feeling working for us."
It's like The Onion... only snarkier.
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